Sunday, August 26, 2007

The By-Product of a Bored Intern's Mind

This piece was created while I was assigned at the CLINICAL CHEMISTRY department of the RLTC (Regional Laboratory Training Center) / Davao Medical Center. During a rare break in the afternoon many, many years ago when all the Blood Chemistry tests had been done, my equally-bored co-intern and fellow poet, Nympha sat down with me and out of the blue, we co-wrote this piece to the delight of our fellow interns. I have no idea where Nympha is now or what she's been up to all these years but I hope that like me, she's still into poetry...some of the time, at least....

LOVE CHEMISTRY DETERMINATION
(Special Test)
MED TECH Method
Claire-Nympha Modification

Procedure:

1). Lake 65 ml. of RESPECT.
2.) Incubate for a LIFETIME.
3.) Add 10 ml. of CONC'D PATIENCE.
4.) Pipette 10 ml. of LAUGHTER and mix with 15 ml. of 100 % SHARING.
5.) Centrifuge and decant supernatant.
6.) Discard (dirty) RUMOR sediment.
7.) Titrate Supernatant with UNDERSTANDING and watch for a LOVING endpoint.
8.) Read at 143 mu (mutual understanding).

NORMAL VALUES: 143-14344 units/lifetime
CLINICAL SIGNIFICANCE:
Increased levels: CONSTANT TOGETHERNESS
Decreased levels: LACK OF THE ABOVE REAGENTS

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