Monday, July 7, 2008

Out of the Darkness

The last few weeks have been very difficult for me. I couldn't even come up with a decent post. I mean, there I was, trying to revive this blog and hopefully use it for the purpose I created it for in the first place and yet, my heart was drowning in despair and tears. How could I shine a light for the weary and the brokenhearted if I myself was wallowing in dark despair? I could just be another blogger on a blogging site, writing whatever came to mind and be as prolific a writer as I once had been in my teens. Oh, sure, back then I wrote a lot of those teeny love stories that often sent my friends soaring on Cloud 9 and while that won't be so hard to do again, I now find that I would want to do something else. Something that would reach out and touch another person; bring a smile to a hurting soul; and make others feel better about themselves somehow.

Over the last few weeks when I struggled with sadness, frustration, and self-pity, I wondered how on earth I could have forgotten what I realized long ago. That pain does teach what pleasure misses. If there's one thing I learned about having gone through pain and witnessing so much suffering for years, it is that pain has not only made me stronger, but it also helped me become more compassionate and sensitive to the pains of others. Oh, what healing there really can be from reaching out to others who are hurting even if we are actually hurting, too! I may not have much in this life, but I hope that in my own way, I can shine a light for others. I'd like to share with you this beautiful song I first heard from the soundtrack of the tv show TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL. It's called SHINE ALL YOUR LIGHT by Amy Grant.

Thank you: Jeff (for loving me), Laura (for the gift of her friendship), @-->--Marites R (my friend and former tennis partner: for making me laugh), Kelly (for encouraging me even when she's actually hurting, too), and to my other blogger-friends who didn't exactly know why I was depressed but offered encouragement, anyway -- Joseph-Director (my young blogger-friend who offered to listen), @kim , and all the rest (you know who you are). Oh, special thanks to Hazel Quinn (for checking on me now and then). Thanks, everyone!


Hazel Quinn said...

I'm sorry it's been dark again for you but you're right to share it. I often have 'down' time but I usually feel my psyche is growing through those times and I emerge, as you say stronger, for me it's more 'complete'. About 17 years ago a doc said to me that one day I would thank my disease. I wanted to whup him upside the head due to all the constant suffering and losses!But the swine was right!I'm ecstatic about what others take for granted.It'll be interesting how all this informs your writings in the future.
PS: And don't forget to do something silly every day!
PPS: Thanks for putting up the new blog - don't want to be cluttering up your bloglist!

Me, the islands and the world said...

at least, you got to air things out kasi kung you always bottle it up madayonan ka jud ug baliw hehehe! ay naku! for me, it's better to be an olay kaysa naman, unhappy and/or suffering married person. anyway, it's up to us to find happiness from what we can find. one's own happiness doesn't depend on another, it's really up to u and God.

Kim said...

Hi chloe, I may dont know what made you "D" but I'd like to tell you this in every pain and sorrow there is always an end of that. Keep the faith my dear. When you read this comment of mine can you browse in youtube the music entitled "What a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong.